15 Questions You Should Never Ask a Cruiser

Here are 15 questions that you should never ask someone who cruises on a regular basis.  Seriously, don’t even think about it.
Why don’t you just stay in a hotel?

• This is one question that I get asked pretty much every time I take a cruise, especially right before I am about to take a cruise to nowhere. You can’t even compare staying in a hotel for a few nights to taking a short cruise.  A cruise offers so much more than just a hotel room (food, entertainment, activities, ever changing ocean views).

Haven’t you ever watched the Titanic?

• Yes, we’ve just about all seen it and everyone knows about it.  And no, we aren’t worried about the ship sinking.

How do you afford to cruise so often?

• One of the best things about taking a cruise is how affordable they are.  Seven night cruises to the Caribbean are often found starting at around $50 a night per person.  My first cruise I paid $199 for a four night cruise to the Bahamas, that is almost as cheap as staying at home.  When adjusted for inflation, cruising has never been so affordable.

Don’t you get bored on sea days?

• The more you cruise, the more you will fall in love with sea days.

Aren’t you worried about pirates?

• You should probably turn off Turner Classic Movies and get out more.

Why don’t you just fly to all the places you want to see?

• Flying from one place to another can get expensive pretty quickly.  On a cruise, you unpack once and visit multiple places/islands without “lost” vacation time traveling from one place to the next. Also, going through cruise ship security is a hundred times better than the TSA.

Why do you post so many cruise pictures and articles on Facebook?

• Because I’m addicted to cruising and it’s the best vacation that you can take.  If I’m not on a cruise, I am either thinking about my last one or planning my next one.

Don’t you get seasick?

• Modern cruise ships are ridiculously stable and most times you can’t even tell you are at sea.  For those that are easily prone to motion sickness, there is the patch, bracelet, and Bonine that work wonders.

How much weight did you gain on your last cruise?

• This question needs no explanation.  Next…

Aren’t you worried about falling overboard?

• Unless you are pushed, highly intoxicated, and/or partaking in unwise horseplay, it is impossible to just fall overboard.

Do they let you drive the boat?

• 1. It’s a ship, the boats are for emergencies.
• 2. Only authorized personnel are allowed on the bridge.

Was Captain Stubing on your cruise?

• Yes, I have been on a cruise with Captain Stubing (Gavin MacLeod) but that is definitely not the norm.

Doesn’t everyone get norovirus?

• Norovirus outbreaks on cruise ships only happen a few times a year. Over 25 million people are expected to take a cruise in 2017 and only a small fraction of them will catch norovirus.  Practicing proper hand hygiene will not only keep you much healthier on a cruise ship, but also back home in real life.

Aren’t you afraid of sailing into a hurricane?

• A great thing about cruise ships is that they are mobile and can sail away from storms.  If a storm is expected to hit the Western Caribbean, cruise lines will change itineraries to the Eastern Caribbean, keeping your vacation going (and keeping you safe).

When are you going to stop cruising?

• Never, I’m not a quitter!