Opinion 10 of the Craziest Complaints Cruisers Made Last Year

10 of the Craziest Complaints Cruisers Made Last Year

An independent travel agency in the UK recently released some of the funniest and oddest complaints by cruisers.    All of these complaints were reported by bonvoyage.co.uk about their most recent cruise experiences.    Their team picked out 10 of the funniest comments people made.

Some of the complaints include “the ocean being too loud” and “the service being too good”.   We got a kick out of what some of these people said, and we’re sure you will too.  Feel free to leave a comment if you have heard any other crazy complaints by cruisers.

1.  One of the complaints that caught the team’s attention came from a woman who was on a Mediterranean cruise.  She kept complaining that the ocean was too loud and kept her from being able to get a good night’s sleep.

She recommended that the cruise ship cabins be made better sound-proofed against the sounds of the sea.”  And here I thought the sound of the ocean was one of the best parts of cruising.

2.  A man was celebrating his honeymoon on a 2 week cruise to the Caribbean.  He complained about the lack of “ceremony” for himself and his new bride, hoping their cabin would be fully decorated in white, with rose-petals, champagne, and chocolate covered strawberries awaiting them.   The newlywed cruiser admitted that he did not request any of these things, because he expected the staff to just know about their situation and give them this special treatment at no extra cost.

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3.   A woman on a cruise departing from Southampton informed the bonvoyage.co.uk team that she had to re-schedule her whole holiday, as she claimed she was not aware of the fact that she was supposed to take her passport with her on the cruise.

She apparently thought she only needed her passport when going on a fly-cruise, and blamed the cruise company for not texting her the day before to remind her to take her passport.

4.  This one cracks me up.  A couple on a Mediterranean cruise complained that their Captain was rude, and did not comply to their requests for the cruise ship to wait for them.

Before the couple left the ship to visit the port of call, they left a note for the Captain that they would be returning to the ship 2 hours after the planned departure time.  Their reason: “too much to do in port.”

Of course, the Captain pulled the ship out of port at the planned time and the couple had to catch another ship to meet up with their cruise ship at the new port, after which they sought compensation for the travel cost they had to cover.

5.  A woman on a Hawaiian cruise said that she heard that Gary Barlow once cruised on the same cruise ship that she was traveling on.  But when she did not see him on the ship she demanded an explanation as to why he was not on the same cruise again.

6.  A man who traveled on an Alaskan cruise complained that the weather was much colder than he expected.  He wanted to be able to use the pool every day and work on his tan.

He stated that “all cruises are meant to be hot”, and so he sought compensation for having to buy warmer clothing as he “had only packed minimal clothing for the expected hot weather.”

7.  An older couple on a European cruise complained that the cruise line did not provide them with a packed lunch for every day that were docked in port.  The cruise line never mentioned this option being provided, but apparently the couple thought it would be standard to carry a lunch with them each day.

8.  A woman on a ‘Celebrity Cruises’ ship asked bonvoyage.co.uk for a full refund in June last year, simply because she didn’t see any celebrities on board the ship.  According to her comments, the company was guilty of “false advertising” due to the lack of actual celebrities on the ship.

9.  One couple from Yorkshire complained about the kindness of the staff on board their cruise ship.  They said they had to spend a lot more money on tips then they had planned for because of how excellent the service was.  They then sought out compensation for the cost of the tips they gave out.

10.  Last but not least, BonVoyage.co.uk was contacted by a woman in January this year who expressed her disappointment with her inside cabin not having a window to the sea.

Furthermore, she expressed her frustration as she claimed ‘nobody’ on board was able to install a window for her so she could enjoy the view, and expected “better service next time.”

Have you heard any crazy complaints by cruisers?  Leave a comment below and let us know.

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J. Souza
Jon got hooked on cruising after his first cruise on his honeymoon, and today he is always looking for cruise deals and reading information about the cruise industry. Jon lives in the foothills of North Carolina and wishes there were a cruise port that far inland. Jon can be reached at [email protected]
Opinion 10 of the Craziest Complaints Cruisers Made Last Year

210 COMMENTS

  1. I’m been on about 17 cruises on NCL and the staff has always been most helpful, many times going out of their way to answer my questions correctly or get me what I need. I trust the room stewards completely. In many ways it is an unreal environment because the real world “outside of the cruise ships” is not always that helpful, understanding, accommodating and friendly.

    I love cruising and wish I could do it more.

  2. I’m sorry you even had to hear ignorant stuff like that. I’ve watched the dancers on cruise ships and they are totally amazing. It takes many years of hard devoted work to attain that level of athleticism and artistry.

  3. Don’t forget about the bikes in the health club. They are all plugged into the electrical system. Just follow the cords coming out of them and you can see they are the ones producing the electricity..

  4. My reason for cruising is to enjoy the fresh air and the sea. I spend my time on the decks with direct access to that: ie the pool deck, the promenade deck etc. If you want to enjoy the sun, go to the top deck and enjoy it. No extra cost. They even have lounge chairs.

  5. some of the funnest swims I’ve had have been in the ship pool on rough waters. It’s a blast. Just be careful not to get slammed against the end of the pool. The strength of the waves has broken the decking around it.

  6. That really is a stupid question. Just make certain you grab the extension cord before pulling out of port.

  7. I travel on Norwegian. The answer to your questions for that ship line is yes. Yes food is included in the price. There are plenty of dining opportunities onboard ship that are included. There are also specialty restaurants which charge extra. I’ve found the meals that cost extra are well worth it. But the included food is good and plenty of it. One buffet goes from about 6 AM to 11 PM. Another complementary restaurant/bar is open 24 hours a day. Some you can show up anytime and eat or sit down and be waited on. Others recommend reservations.

  8. No complaints, but my husband & I were asked by 2 women if the food was included or did it cost extra. They also were seen frequently wearing their life vests!

  9. I was Security Officer on board a cruise line ship for 4 years…One day I received a verbal complaint from ladies as no one in the crew were interested for having sexe with them… 🙁 …

  10. I used to work for a cruise liner, I was English host and delt with many complaints from guests, my favourite was that each level of a ship has a floor name depending on the ships main name. The ship I was on this time was known as the ship of music and deck 11 which has the pool was known as summertime. A guest said that she didn’t go up to deck 11 cause she thought she was unable to use it cause she was cruising during winter in the EU, and was unhappy and wanted a refund.

  11. How about…..”since we heard you don’t generate your own power(???) who’s job is it to swim back and get the extension cord so you can plug into XYZ (next island) before we get there tomorrow?”. Really? This came out of a fellow guest while I was getting a replacement SeaPass card printed. Don’t they know ANYTHING? No one needs to swim when there’s a perfectly good helicopter waiting! Seriously though from the medical side of things – there ain’t no cure for stupid (or rudeness for that matter). From this devoted cruiser, thank you for all you do and what you have to put up with. I’ll go to bat for you anytime I can against those less than acceptable jerks. You guys rock!

  12. We were on a P&O cruise earlier this year when a befuddled looking gentleman approached and asked “How the hell do you spend money on this ship” ? We explained about the card system and he most indignantly said I am trying but nobody will take it. Taking pity and willing to help him sort it out, we asked him to show us his card, at this point he produced a Barclaycard. We explained he needed his ship card, he denied all knowledge of having one. We showed him ours to which he replied “Oh you mean the door key”. Problem solved. Same couple then went on to explain that they couldn’t use the tv remote. Ask your cabin steward to show you we explained. Digging further we asked what the problem was, We can’t find Emmerdale they replied. We were in the Mediterranean at the time.

  13. While walking on the deck of a Celebrity ship one rather windy day, we noticed the water in the pool sloshing all over the place. I heard someone say, “I didn’t know this ship had a wave pool.”

    That someone was me.

    That was 19 cruises ago and now instead of being mortified, I can finally laugh about it! – Musing About Cruising

  14. Honorable mention for top ten dumb cruise questions:

    June 2016 on Royal Caribbean’s Majesty of the Seas over heard a conversation at the NEXT CRUISE DESK

    Guest: “I hear Harmony of the Seas is amazing, what months does she sail in 2017?”

    Crew member replied: “All of them”

    Guest: “No, which days of the week?”

    Crew member: “Still all of them….”

  15. This just goes to prove that no matter what you do, there will ALWAYS be someone to complain about it!!!

    I’m going on my second cruise at the end of June. First time to Alaska and first time on princess. I’m absolutely positive that it will be fabulous!

  16. Once a passenger asked the following to the ships staff in front of an entire showroom:
    We Americans have done so much for the world. Is this our thanks that we are now being served by third world people? (Aka hard working, amazing Indonesian staff)
    The hotel manager answered that “We could of course hire Americans, but then you would be complaining that they were rude”

  17. After working on-board cruiseships for over 27 years, here are some of my favorite questions
    1/ How small does my face need to be for the mini facial?
    2/ PAX – What time is the guest services desk open?.. (Me.. 24 hours madam….) PAX – i know but between what times
    3/ How do i know which photo is mine
    4/ What do you do with the water once it melts in the ice carving show… (Me… Bottle it up and sell it to you as bottled water..Madam)
    5/ Does this lift go up or down?
    6/ I booked a sea-view suite and all i see is cars and lorries… Yes madam thats because we are still docked..

  18. Ah, good days. My fav was the lady, who came cruising with her hubby and elderly mother, booked a standard cabin with a top bunk for the three, then begged me to give an extra cabin for the mom, cause she wakes up often though the night and goes to the bathroom, and blah blah… On the end she was willing to settle for a crew cabin for the mother. Or just a locker with a bed. Or just a bed in some crew member’s cabin, who works nights. I was like lol lady u srs, hell naw.

  19. While the Ship was at the port , guest complained that the sun was on the opposite si de of his balcony cabin. Guest requested tô move the Ship só he can enjoy the sun While at the port .

  20. I knew a lady who requested a refund from Norwegian because they had served meat loaf on the buffet. She said if she wanted meat loaf she would have stayed home

  21. Celebrity Eclipse 2010 Mediteranian cruise from Southampton, some English lady complain that espresso coffe in caffe Al Baccio was to hot!!!!
    By my homble oppinion this one is best ever.

  22. On my first cruise, I was getting a mistake on my card fixed when a couple came to the counter outright PISSED. They wanted to be reimbursed for they average price of at least 2 nights gratuities included because it didnt rain for at least half of the cruise. They said they thought half of the cruise was supposed to be through rainy weather because they said they always see video of cruise ships in the rain on YouTube and in the movies. They felt it was part of the experience. And yes they were serious.

    • Almost without exception, stupidity, and an bewildering sense of entitlement coupled with selfishness seem to be the common denominator. smh

  23. When i worked on cruise ships many years ago i had lots of good customers and lots not so good. One of the comments that kept on coming my way was everytime the not so clever heard I was from south africa they then said but your not black or why do you wear clothes… Or is it true that you have a lion as a pet? ”Duh you are probably one of the stupid Americans right” went through my head.

  24. A German couple that couldn’t find anything to complain at dinner, complained about my coworker’s tie being too short.

  25. Ive worked for 10years at Guest Services Desk for NCL and still wondering why noone made some tv show about ship’s life and cruising. It’ s a plot of neverending situations and craziest people more exciting than any tv show made in hospitals etc. Ive enjoyed every single day as no matter how hard was none of them were boring 🙂

  26. I use to be crew member…. i have heard a lot of stupidity but still the best one was:

    ” during Mediterranean cruise a fly lend in a wine glass to a lady ,
    she saw the fly and very excited ask her girlfriend as a complain if she can ask another cruise for free”???

    what is wrong with this planet?????

    anyway one more about the class guests:

    ” Lady entering on board on embarkation and get a glass of champagne but she stated that she drinks only Dom Perignon and nothing else… when i said that we charge for Dom P. she grab the glass and just left angry…..

    🙂

  27. Once there was a Lady was insisting about the ship to dock somewhere when we were cruising 1 day at sea in accordance of the schedule.She was so annoying and complaining about for a stop at sea where she can get off.I was so pissed on the front desk,I just simply reply her that we have got only 1 port at sea which called port of shark,So we will dropped you there for 2 hours.
    Is it fine madame?”Its ok no worry about that but thank you for listening to me”
    I wanted to push that lady into the water.

  28. We always say that when the passengers come onboard for holiday, they leave their brains back home. And I’m not talking only about complaints, but also requests.

  29. I once heard a lady complain to the Maitre’d that the Midnight Buffet was too late in the evening. She asked if they can have it a bit earlier in the evening for those that slept early.

  30. Many crazy complaints but the worst thing is to say many of these complaints I’ve got not only once but unfortunately many times! People asking for refund for everything, even tips. Complaining it’s not all inclusive… Well, pay much much more for a luxury cruise! Internet complaints… Don’t use internet if you will complain about the speed! We are cruising, we are at sea and moving from a country to another at least we have internet! Noise… Normal, don’t cruise if you don’t want to listen to any noise! Vibration, maintenance, machines, entertainments… It’s a ship not a hotel! Crew members don’t live in the countries the ships normaly go so don’t be upset and rude if a crew member don’t know if there is a certain store in town or location of catholic church or time of the mass. As soon as you leave the ship you can ask the local people! We can try to get the information on google for you but how can I know if it is the right information. Once I gave a information of a church and when the lady got the taxi and said the name of the church the driver started to move and said to the lady there was a church just two blocks away! She got mad at me! Also taxi prices! C’mon we don’t work with taxi companies go out and negociate price! Do you know how to do it? You ask one driver and then another one, if the price is still high walk from the port and try far from the port and for sure will get s better price! But to ask crew members is not fair because we negociate price with the driver and for sure the driver can ask any amount he wants… I understand you want to have an idea but even so, it’s better to ask local people! Complain that the pool is wet, don’t pass by the pool! Complain that the lounge is hot and the Sun is strong… Get out of the place if you don’t feel good. There is no gun making you to stay and I can’t ask the Sun to leave because I have one guest complaining this is not the way how we should treat the guests…And I still love my job

  31. i remember on our first cruise as a child, that my father was disappointed that there was no snooker room on board Canberra. To be fair he only complained to the family and not to P&O. Always brings a smile to my face when I look back in this

  32. these are cheesy complains.
    I don’t know if you guys heard this one certain complain.
    Guest was complaining that the ship is not very safe to cruise at night coz they have not seen any headlight or yellow line as they go along in the darkness.

  33. These are hysterical! I’m never worked for a cruise line, but I am an avid cruiser. I want to thank all of you for putting up with the ridiculous complaints and annoying, idiotic cruisers you’ve had to deal with. Thankfully, for every idiot there are many, many more polite cruisers who would never do these sorts of things. 🙂

  34. I agree with #8. You never see celebrities driving Chevrolet Celebrities nor do you see any rock stars drinking Rock Star energy drink. Completely false advertising

  35. Enjoyed reading all of these !! Been on quite a few cruises and still love it !! We were on the Funchal going from Fremantle to England once !! Our cruise directors name was Heidietcha or similar ! She was fantastic !! Kept us well informed and what was happening !! One day she announced a pod of whales off the starboard ,so sure enough there was a pod of whales , then she announced dolphins forward on the port side and Then a lot of penguins way of the stern !!! Every body went looking for the penguins but couldn’t see them !!! She then reminded us we were close to the Equator and the date was 1st April !!
    She was a great cruise director and worked hard to keep passengers happy !! That was our third cruise and have done many more since and are still cruising !!

  36. I know this may sound a bit nasty or gross, and believe I’m not a fan of them, but my wife and I went on a 7 day cruise to Bermuda. The first night out of port at about 11:00pm my wife was sleeping and I was watching some tv. I looked up to my left and there he was a cockroach about the size of a small mouse. Now normally I’d freak out but Reggie was bold! I named him Reggie because he would visit every night and in fact I sort of liked Reggie. He would squeeze out from under a gap under the wall by the bathroom and scurry over to the wall, climb up and walk across the chair rail and stop and look at me while I laid in bed. Well the first night my wife had brought a chocolate chip cookie back to our room. And it was wrapped up in a napkin on her side. I reached over, Reggie did flinch a bit too. I broke off a small piece of that cookie and reached over about a foot away from Reg and his antennas twitched and he sprinted to the tastes morsel I had offered him. Here I am a grown man talking to a roach in the middle of the night like he’s one of my buddies. If my wife would have seen him it would have been over! So I’m talking to Reggie and tell him to paaaaalease! Don’t show up early or get caught by my wife. He took that piece of cookie over to the gap, and he couldn’t get through, so he spent the next half hour eating it down until he could. Now you gotta believe me here. Reggie came back the next night but it was much later about 1:00am and he did the same exact thing. This time though he didn’t flinch. I had brought back a peanut butter cookie just for him. Old Reggie seemed to like it much better, he ate and then cleaned himself right there in front of me. I’m telling you it was entertaining watching this guy. He would turn side ways and back up a few inches and then come at the cookie from a different side and then clean his face and his antennas with his front legs. Long story short, my buddy visited every single night. I didn’t tell me wife until we got home, she would have vaporized Reggie with a rolled up magazine for sure had I told her. I liked that roach, he made the trip interesting and his boldness and lack of fear was why I enjoyed his company. I did not see any other roach on the boat or in out room, there had to have been way more but I sure didn’t see any. Reggie might still be alive today, a world traveling relaxing roach in the go. For me, Reggie was polite and stayed away from my wife and never got to close for comfort. Thank you Carnival for the unplanned room guest we had. Old Reg ate like a king that week and I was happy to oblige his appetite. Best vacation ever too! Bermuda was awesome our cruise was awesome and the people were awesome on board! I really enjoyed the animal folded towels too!

  37. My next cruise is on the Pride of America. I’m going to make up a nice poster, with the Norwegian logo, advertising a sign up area for water skiing behind the ship between the islands. LOL

  38. For all the complainers,Just give me your money so I can go on a cruise.
    I’ve never Been and would love to go on just one cruise!

  39. I am gonna tell you some very funny questions:
    1. An old lady ask me : “do you know where my husband is ? ”
    2. An man ask me : “where is this elevator take me to ?”
    3. An man ask me : “crews sleep on board, don’t they ?” (When the ship is crusing)
    4. Beautiful woman ask me : “where I can go if the ship go down ?
    I worked on Costa Fortuna 3 years ago. And I couldn’t answer these questions. Ha ha ha.

  40. My crazy complaint is NCL. I had the beverage package for the week. Able to get anything up to $11.00 this included champagne, wines, mixed drinks, soda, etc. One meal I requested a bottle of water, Pellegrino, $4.50, way under my $11.00 limit. The NCL server told me that was not included in my beverage package! So I said I should purchase an $11.00 glass of wine or a martini and spend that and just drink a regular water–that makes more sense. The server just stood there and repeated, the $4.50 Pellegrino is not included with your beverage package! Give me a break NCL, a beverage is a beverage and up to $11.00 means up to $11.00, be it a drink, water or cappuccino!

    • Agree. Why would the bean counters in the cubicles at NCL not include water or coffee’s in the beverage package. Carnival wised up and now includes them. Usually I’ll get one cappuccino as an after dinner drink. On NCL I now get 2 or 3 glasses of Port just to piss of the bean counters. Yes sir, please spend $30 every night instead of $4.50. Not very smart NCL. Wise up like Carnival did.

  41. Actually, all these complaints are not so crazy or stupid. If you want to deal with the most stupid spoiled and irritating passengers and their nonsense complaints, go and work for Crystal Cruises and you will see hardcore stupid ones.

  42. A friend of mine works on guest services and received a call at 4am from a drunk guest who was scared of her towel animal, the guest wanted my friend to come and destroy it for her!! After a little while she managed to convince the guest that if she just shook the corner really hard it would disappear….the guest did, and thought it was magic!!!!!

  43. When working as a Waiter on Song of America I received a complain saying “my Waiter didn’t smile” during the cruise I was informed that my 2 years old daughter was hospitalised in Chile after being beaten by a spider !!!! 🙁

  44. Standing on deck sailing under the Golden Gates into SnFran is a great experience, but as I did this with an Cruise director a (name badge hunter) American passenger came storming up to us both to complain that the Golden Gates were not ‘golden’ and that NCL should have them painted as it is false advertising etc etc, blah blah blah! Without missing a beat my collegue calmy turned to him and politely said “And sir if you look closely, you’ll also notice they are not gates”

  45. I have worked for 25 years on ships as an entertainer, on al different lines. My most perplexing story is when I was walking down a cabin corridor I came across a reasonably rotund lady siting and crying on her motorised scooter. When I asked her what the problem was she said she had been stuck there for an hour and her battery had died. She told me she had to meet her husband at the buffet. I did the nice thing and pushed her 200 pound carkas and scooter all the way down the corridor to the lift, up 6 floors and then all the way down another corridor to the buffet (on carpet) it was like pushing a car with flat tyres though quicksand. I had sweat dripping off me. As soon as we reached the buffet restaurant she hopped off the scooter and practically ‘ran’ to the spaghetti bar!…. True story!

  46. I worked on ships for 3 years and besides the usual questions about the crew sleeping arrangements, stairs and elevators, midnight buffets i heard some other interesting stuff 🙂

    1. I worked as a spa receptionist and one day we got into some thunder and heavy rain. A woman approached the desk and asked if it was safe for her to go into the sauna during such weather. It took me a few minutes to convince her that she was safe and that no thunder was going to hit her. I guess she took the “dont stand under a tree during a thunderstorm” advice far too seriously.

    2. One guy once claimed that they had seen their pool boy perform in the dancing show the night before and asked if all of us had more jobs on the ship. Yeah sure after a 12 hour shift at reception i go and wash the dishes…

    3. We had a flow rider (surf simulation) on the ship and before signing up for it a guy asked if it was possible for him to surf behind the ship so the ship can pull him.

    4. The night before debark a guest called and asked why her friend had got a luggage tag with her name and last name on it and she hadnt…heres just had blue written on it.after a few minutes of explanation that luggage tags didnt have names on them, the receptionist asked what was the friends name – marrion brown (marron is the spanish word for brown).

    5. On one embark day there was a group of people that ran into the gym and with a panic look asked “where is the food”.
    Me: windjammer back of the ship…

  47. I’ve had people complain about slow internet speed (even though it’s amazing to have internet on a ship in the middle of the ocean)

    I’ve had people complain about food lines during a code red

    I’ve seen a couple freak out because we didn’t launch tenders for a port of call due to weather, in which they were absolutely furious that we were not willing to risk lives to make it to port.

    I’ve seen a couple complain about people making eye contact with their baby.

    To be fair, the super majority of people on these ships are genuine and nice, unfortunately the bad ones stick with you more.

  48. Currently working on a cruise ship my colleague recently heard a great one. We had a huge group of woman on (over 1000 passengers) and they were to use the stage the entire cruise. Leaving Port Everglade the seas were a little choppy and rocky, to which one woman turned to my colleague and said, “is there anyway we can stop the ship rocking, doesn’t the captain know we don’t like it rocking” to which he turned round to her and said “ok, sure, i’ll just call the captain!” Walking off laughing!
    Ha!

  49. When I was in the cruise industry in the 80s/90s, I used to tell a funny story that was told to me by an RVL receptionist. He took a call one evening from a very distressed American lady that went like this:
    She: Hello..is that reception?
    He: Yes madam, how can I help you?
    She: I can’t get out of my cabin!
    He: You’re locked into you cabin?
    She: No! I can’t find the door!
    He: You can’t find the door? Where are you standing?
    She: I’m at the desk in front of the bed.
    He: Well, madam, if you face towards the bed, you’ll see three doors on your left side.
    She: Yes
    He: The first on the left is the wardrobe ..the closet
    She: Yes
    He: Opposite is the door to the bathroom
    She: Yes, OK
    He: And the door in the middle with the sign on the handle is your cabin door.
    She: No, that can’t be it.
    He: Why not?
    She: That’s the cabin next door….the sign says: “Do not disturb”
    He: ( silence whilst he laughs!)

    A true story, apparently!

  50. he guys this topics are my favorite
    1 {once guest ask me if we have some elevator
    wich going forward and beck because ship is to long}….
    2 { mostly introduceing and explainig our life on the ship
    where do yu guys live on board someone told them that
    every night after shift coming helicopter to take staff
    home …….and best was that ……complain came guest
    coudn’t sleep becouse helicopter was to loud ……when coming for staff…

    and many more yu could make book and make yours kids laugh every time
    cheers

  51. it is scary but all these are true. After working for RCCL in her casino for nearly 7 years they are normal. It was always surprising how many people wanted there money back at the end of a cruise. It was not real money !!! Others include what language do you speak in England ? Why aren’t the South Africans black, how are they white. As an Aussie. Do you know crocodile hunter Steve Irwin??
    We used to take the puss often and make up outrageous stories. Americans believe anything if you tell it right. I can’t wait to go on a cruise and abuse those who abuse the crew.

  52. Hahaha people are so ridiculous! I used to work and ships and you won’t believe how many times I heard this question: “What time is the midnight buffet?”

  53. I work for Royal and had a guest claimed that we changed the course of the ship on the transatlantic and that it was colder…he booked a Summer cruise not a Winter cruise. The worst was that he claimed that his 3 year old son could not use the pool. The weather got warmer the next day..he still wanted compensation.

  54. NIght before Grand Turk a couple asked me about the ships’ engine. With straight face I said that we have none. every cerwmember after hourswent to the bottom of the ship ans rowed giant oars. And that we ha rotas created for that. Next day on the way back form the beach I saw them checking the hull for the opening for oars. Luckily for me they did not said a word. Another time I was asked about electricity on board. I answered that we had rows of stationary bicycles on the lowest deck and all the guests that were late or drunk coming back form the ports were put there to produce the electricity. Needless to say next day one o the security guys rmentioned a guest who upon returning form the port exclaimed that he was sober and on time so there had to be somebody else to produce electricity for this criuse!

  55. I used to work as Purser onboard Carnival, so we had our fair share of off complaints.
    However, my fave of all time was on a Cruise from Miami…on the Carnival Paradise.

    It was embarkation day, and we were still in port. A lady called us from her cabin and said “I asked for an ocean view cabin, and all i can see if the pier”

    I had to explain, nicely, that as soon as we leave port….that she will be able to see the ocean :O)

  56. I was the working on-board Celebrity Eclipse for 6 months as a Future Cruise agent. I Once drank a little to much and slept with a guest.(thankfully, which you’ll find out later, my manager didn’t believe the guest) We Were at it for hours and she couldn’t keep up, as im BIG. The next morning she complained to my manager that i seduced her, and that she was in loads of pain because it felt like she had an aerosol can up there and was stretched beyond belief, wanted an free upgrade to a balcony cabin to get over the mental stress.

    • Oh dear Beard-face your a naughty boy. You shouldn’t have slept with a passenger!!!! I think you are bragging a bit about your manhood too!!!

  57. I have a friend who has worked on ships, and has told me a few stories, I also work in the industry as an agent and so have heard a few interesting questions. His favorite one he was once asked by a guest while on an Alaskan run, how do they power the ship
    his answer: When we start in Seattle they plug the ship in and when we get to the last port of call we take that plug out and re-plug it in from there. This would have gone fine, had the guest not repeated this to someone while in front of his manager. He did get away with this as clearly the guest had not thought about common sense and that us brits like to be sarcastic!

  58. I got a complaint once about the glass elevator. The lady sayd that they should remove them as it was inappropriate to have a glass elevators goes pass the kids club. A little kids mite just look up and see under a lady’s dress..

    Also in Alaska we often got to see the Northern lights. A guest complaint that the captain was going to slow and demanded that the ship gets to the part where the the Northen lights are faster. On his previous cruise nobody came to wake him when it appeared. … He has to see it as it was advertised on the Cruise ship TV…

    In Hawaii some guests did a private skydiving trip. During the time they were there they spotted a Photographer from the cruise ship on his TIME OFF also doing a jump . .
    On this trip the guests got an option the buy the photos of their jump on a CD from the skydiving school ( nothing to do with the cruise ship company). The guests refused to buy the photos from the school as it was to expensive. They then got back on the ship, and demanded to see their photos from the jump as there was a cruise ship photographer along on the trip. After finding out there was no photos. They left a complaint that their memorable moment was now ruined as there photographer did not do his job..

  59. I worked on CCL for a few years and had a few interesting experiences. On embarkation day we where responsible for the elevators and greeting the guests as they came aboard. I am from South Africa, I had on a few occasions guests in shock saying that I can’t be from South Africa because I am white.
    I was greeting a couple as they where waiting on the elevators explaining to them to go to the Lido deck as the cabin’s where still busy being cleaned. After about a five minute explanation to this couple the husband turned to the wife saying to her right in front of me. Do you understand a word she is saying she isn’t speaking English to us. English is my home language!

    A waiter in the dining room also from SA was tired of people asking if we have elephants walking in the streets and if we are not scared of the lions, finally had the best come back. When the guest on this said cruise was really impressed with his good English, the waiter responded: Thank you he is still getting used to wearing the clothes as he normally at home only wears animal skin at home. And he has worked really hard at his English.. He went as far as on a vacation at home he went to a zulu village dressed in traditional Zulu clothes and took a photo next to a mud hut. He then told people that asked that this was his home!! he used to get really good tips 🙂

  60. I am from Cape Town. Had an elderly passenger (Greek living in USA) get upset with me when I said I am from Cape Town. He said he lived in Cape Town during the 60’s and there are no white people living there. I got a complaint card saying that I should spread lies about unfortunate countries and someone in the industry of traveling should know better than to talk when not informed… sigh

  61. “You receptionists should be well-informed. You don’t even know how many people live in this city. So what do you do in this front office desk?”
    This is the one of thousands questions that Indian guests have been asking our front office crew. Is there any possible answer?
    SuperStar Gemini, 02 Nov, 2014

    • wel, it’s a wonderful question, “what do you do in this front office desk?”, feeding cows like you Indians ?

  62. Once I had a passenger enquire as to the time and venue of an on board activity. Not knowing exactly, I I referred him to the daily schedule he was holding in his hand. His reply, “I didn’t come on a cruise to read!”

  63. “What do you do with the ice carvings after they melt?”

    Me and my partner worked on a few cruise ships and we are planning to take the cheapest cruise – maybe a crossing (because we know these are the best cruises for that) – and pick on every guest that has a complaint. We don’t have name tags anymore and we do not have to kiss anyone’s butt. Also, it would be nice to be able to tell people in their face, without being fired : You are an idiot!

    • i have never been on a cruise, but after reading all these stories, find myself thinking the most entertaining place to hang out would be near the front desk! I would definitely take pleasure in defending the staff, and would have no shame in telling the passenger to ‘pull their head in’. Sounds like cruising is a case of ‘head off, pumpkin on’ for a lot of people! LOL!!! Feel so sorry for the crew members though.

  64. on a Atlantic cruise..sailing from Miami to Rome..this lady claimed that cruise company stolen her 7 hours (which is time zone between us and eu) out of cruise and want her money back which she paid 250 dollars for 14 days.

    • We had the same complaint once ))) But the receptionist was witty. He answered after the moment of shock passed: “Don’t you worry, sir, we’ll return you your hours on your flight home” – which was across the ocean and obviousely minused these hours from the clocks”

  65. I worked as an expedition leader for Antarctic cruises and a passenger asked ‘if there is a sperm whale is
    there also an egg whale?’
    Answer: yes madam – they like to headbutt each other.
    ‘Really?’
    I will be honest I actually asked a passenger how she had managed to survive so long when she asked such stupid questions.
    Answer: do I ask stupid questions?

    Finally on komodo island. Can I stroke the komodo dragon.
    Yes if you want to die. If they bite you a certain type if bacteria will enter your blood stream and rot you from inside.
    With a look of horror – ‘why did no one tell us that?’
    answer they did on the tender ride over.
    reply ‘why would I listen to that?’

    Honestly… I returned to normal life and wrote books to regain my sanity.

  66. I worked on ships for 10 years and heard so many of the complaints above…we used to laugh about them (cause if you didn’t, you could cry!). Not a complaint, but one that sticks out for me…my first contract in Alaska, we were waiting to open the casino after leaving Ketchikan at 3pm, but due to regulations, we could only open the casino 12 miles from port, which was about 10pm. By this time, every slot machine had a passenger sitting at it, just waiting. One guy fell off his chair, suspected heart attack, and instead of rushing to help him, another passenger climbed over him to get his machine! Ruthless!

  67. I worked on Princess Cruises and used to get complaints all the time where “Doc” or “Gopher” was. Thinking, of course, they really existed.

  68. My wife & I were on Fred Olsen cruise earlier this year from Dubai to Hong Kong, part of the world cruise. A female guest had booked the full 3 month world cruise round trip from Southampton, never having cruised before. She got off in Dubai complaining that there was too much water.

  69. In my first few years working at sea; I had a guest contact me regarding the weather on the way from Fort Lauderdale.

    She complained that in the travel brochures it showed beautiful tropical beaches and hot sun shine.
    It was the wet season and rained for 2 days straight.
    She said it was false advertising and she demanded to speak to someone at Head Office.

  70. I was a Soloist Entertainer for Carnival and had a lady come up to me between my sets and look at my name tag and say “I’m a Democrat, but I don’t think you should be going around telling everyone you’re a Socialist. It will probably hurt your tips”.
    I also had to help out a guy who was in an argument with his wife when she insisted that the port side elevators only went up and starboard only went down.

  71. Working an overnight shift on a Celebrity ship, a guest phoned at 4:30am.
    Said guest is staying in an oceanview stateroom.

    “Good morning, thank you for calling Guest Relations how can I assist?”
    “Yeah, have we docked yet?”
    “Sir, could you take a look outside and tell me if the ship is still moving as I am in an inside office?” (in actuality there is a window right behind me)
    “Yes, we’re still moving, so, have we docked yet?”

    … I wanted to bang my head off the nearest bulkhead.

  72. I was on board as the guest of the shore excursion manager. A passenger pulled him over and with a very serious stern demeanor told the shore ex his hat had flown off his head as he boarded in New Jersey. He then said, “what are you going to do about it?”

  73. I happened to be on the pool deck when a guest came up to me and asked, “what is the dire yion of the sun?”
    There was an overcast that day and the guest was desperately trying to get a tan.

  74. I always enjoyed the stories of passengers who got into fights with their spouse/friend/roommate and demanded that the ship move them (to a better cabin), because obviously the conflict was our fault somehow.

    Also, tendering operations. Enough said.

    I’ve been off ships for a little under two years now, and I know I’ve had all kinds of crazy guest experiences but I think I’ve blocked some of them out lol. I wouldn’t trade my experience for the world, but I’d have to be desperate – and slightly insane – to ever go back!

  75. One time a friend of mine in Bermuda who operates a sunset cruise got a complaint lodged from a cruiseship passenger that they were not “close enough to the sun.” }:~0

  76. The highlight of my shipboard career as a Purser were the guy who had seen a ghost on the balcony.

    Oh no, wait, the ones who shouted at me, ‘coz the housekeeper stole his iPhone, which was found in the cabin by security along with some illegal drugs.

    Or the guy complaining about that old Marvin Gaye song Sexual Healing – according to him it shouldn’t be played by the pool midday, as kids might hear it.

  77. While I was working on RCCL, I once had a guest call me to say that the sunset was so beautiful but unfortunately they had to go to dinner now and she wanted to know if it will be there after she finished her dinner.

    Another time a young guest came back form port directly to the purser’s desk to complain and was very angry with us because he tried to pay for his taxi with his ship card and no one told him that they did not accept it on land.

    guests are also always fascinated to know how we power the ship. One even suggested that we may have very long cables running on the sea floor from land to the ship!!!

    Another guest came to complain about the lack of public restrooms information that was provided for the port of call and she ended up peeing herself.

    Late one night an elderly drunken guest called up the reception upon his return to his room and was screaming that there was an ugly midget in his room with sunglasses on terrifying him. The night purser assumed that he was drunk and when they went up to check, it was a towel monkey with sunglasses on that room attendant had done for the guest.

    This happened to one of my colleagues once. A sweet elderly couple travelling for the first time misunderstood their cruise information and so packed their luggage and left it outside their door AT HOME the night before they departed and left to go to the airport to catch the flight to the ship the next day. Upon arriving on the ship, the went to the pursers desk to find out when their luggage was going to be delivered to the room only to realize that they were to leave their luggage outside of the stateroom door on the SHIP the night before departure, NOT their home door.

    • “ugly midget with sunglasses on”

      You just made me actually laugh out loud…now I need to pretend my work is really hilarious today so they don’t know I’m goofing off online 😉

  78. Most of my favorites have already been shared, but one of the best I personally heard while working for Celebrity Cruises was when I manned the entry doors of the theater during a production show. My ship had a theater entrance on deck 6 and the balcony level entrance was on deck 7. A lady and her elderly mother walked past me to the balcony level seats, saw the dancers below and the seating available, and the lady turned back and called, “Come on mom, let’s go downstairs and sit closer.” Mom, confused, wandered away while asking, “But what are they showing down there?”

  79. I was on a Saga cruise last Christmas going round the Med. On the first day an elderly lady asked at reception if she could speak to the head housekeeper. I was near by and heard her complain that the grapes in her cabin had pips in them. She complained all the time about this and that and the food wasn’t to her liking so she had scampi everyday. The food on that ship is just fantastic and a wide choice. Nearing the end of the cruise we were in Lisbon and the captain asked all passengers to be in the main lounge before the ship sailed. He announced that there was a really bad storm brewing in the Bay of Biscay and we would be staying in Lisbon for two extra days. I thought that was great, two extra days tagged on to my holiday. The old lady who had an issue with her grapes saw me in the corridor and said she was annoyed about the two extra days. So I said to her that if the ship was to go through the Bay of Biscay in a storm then there was bound to be someone who would fall over and break a limb, her husband had difficulty walking as it was. She replied that “I know your right but I’m still going to complain”
    Just one more thing. An American passenger crossing the Atlantic asked in the on board shop if they had her size Pringle sweater in stock. “No” said the shop girl. Still at sea the next day the woman returned to the shop and asked the assistant if they had had anymore delivered. Yeah like they would have flown one in for her!!! Come on!!!

  80. I worked on ships for 15 years and although these are funny, they are also typical. I had one lady run to the front of the shop everyday to pray for the Sharks. She was convinced we were going to hit them. I told her the ship was the length of 3 football fields so the shark would most likely sense it coming but she wouldn’t accept that as a legitimate answer and contained praying.

  81. These comments are great and have come to realize that cruise ships tend to bring together the geniuses of the world. I’ve heard many similar complaints, but one that sticks out pertains to the themed buffets for lunch. One day we had an Asian Themed Buffet when a gentleman collapses to the floor gasping for air, red faced, and screaming for water! Once the pain subsided he got really angry at the crew because he thought he was adding guacamole next to his sushi. Yup, I did not know that Guacamole was Asian inspired, I would have thought that the green stuff was wasabi considering it was next to the sushi section. 🙂

  82. This is funny I worked for a cruise line before and trust me they get MUCH worse…not so much a complaint but a request that was common on ship was which elevator takes me to the front of the ship…no u have to walk to the front then take an elevator to the floor…then the complaint would come that there wasn’t an elevator to take them to the front…or the captain must live on coffee because he never sleeps cause if he did then we would have to stop moving in the ocean..(Palm to the face!!) no that’s why there is the first and second officers they are well qualified to also direct the ship!!!

  83. I worked at a river cruise line booking office and believe me, the crazy questions start before they even get on the ship..
    “Can I have a room with an ocean view?” Me “Um, no sir, you are booking a RIVER cruise, there will be a river view”. or upon being advised that there was a bit of walking up stairs at the ports of call in Germany “They better change that or they will get sued for violation of the American’s with Disabilities act”.. Me “well sir, you will be in Germany, they don’t have the ADA because that is for American’s IN America”.. I could go on and on.. people are so goofy.

  84. The woman who complained in a letter to Silversea that the entertainers should not sing Motown songs because they were not black and they shouldn’t sing Abba songs because they were not Swedish, but should instead sing Frankie Avalon songs because they looked Italian.

  85. i was the security officer onboard the Marco Polo for seven wonderful years. However, I have heard so many ridiculous or bizarre questions there really isn’t space for me to list them all here. But, here’s a few:
    We used to go to Antarctica every year and carry out landings on the beaches to see the Penguins and seals. One American came up to me and asked if the beach we were stood on (two thousand miles from any sort of civilisation) was man made. I asked him why he thought the beach was man made and he replied that all the little pebbles are all the same shape and colour. I asked him if he’d ever been to a beach before or if he’d ever seen sand.

    I got an actual slap in the face from an American woman in Tallinn because it was raining and she had not expected it. She was asked to leave the ship.

    Another American woman complained about the chain I wore around my neck. It had a little gold Peruvian warrior on it. She slapped me and called me a heathen after asking what it was. I told that if she didn’t want to know she shouldn’t have asked. She too was asked to leave the ship.

    One lady asked if the lifts went forwards and backwards as wel as up and down.

    Another gent asked if he could use the same stairs to up to his cabin as well as come down from his cabin.

    There’s many more. Perhaps I should write a book…?

  86. My favourite complaint from a passenger was during an Alaskan cruise. They had taken a shorex tour to the Mendenhall Glacier. When they returned, they stated that the glacier was “too dirty”, and that the least we could have done was “give it a good sweeping before our valued passengers got there”. Seriously, you can’t make this up.

  87. Last week a couple was cruising on the CCL Valor… the wife sat next to someone else by the internet area and saw a tablet, she thought it might have been forgotten by another guest but she decided to ask the person next to the tablet… “Is this yours?” this person (of course, the owner of the device) said yes and after started to use it normally. Then the couple went to the Guest Services Desk claiming a “Special Reward” because of “Not taking the tablet away”… the husband was very upset saying I AM SURE MY WIFE DESERVES A BIG REWARD FROM THIS SHIP, BECAUSE SHE DID NOT TAKE THE TABLET WITH HER”.

  88. This people are stupid and below….normally their from U.K……lady comes in a cafe shop asking for fresh milk in the middle of cruising the Atlantic. ..I said no we only have from the carton….she gets mad and shouts at me.I WANT FRESH MILK!!!.. After 10 min tunes I come with her coffee and she asks me if it’s fresh milk….I say yes mam. I forgot me had 3 cows downstairs for the milk on board…..she responds; you should know this if you are working here.

    Ok

  89. River cruising in europe gets amazing complaints. We offer free coffee on board via a machine in the lounge. Complaint recieved via the on board survey : cofee machine has too many options.

  90. I worked on cruise ship for 2 years and thankfully no more, i had some really crazy comments to. one that sticks out in my mind was a passenger on my final cruise asked me how she gets to deck 7 in the lift….i said you press the big button that says number 7…….thank you and the guest walked away…..crazy

    another was during code red situation (where everyone onboard gets sick) we were made to do extra dutys and i had to stand for an hour at the entrance to the lido to make sure guest sanitised there hands before entering, anyway this one gentlemens wife refused to do it so i simply refused to let her in, situation got so out of hand the captain had to personally come down to see me and the passenger, i got congraulated for standing up for the guest the guest were later banned from the lido unless they decided to clean there hands 🙂

  91. We were in a port of call and a guest came asking about the taxis outside:
    -“I want to go to the beach, will that taxi – pointing to one of them – take me to the beeach?”
    -“Madam, the taxi will take you to the place you tell them to take you”

  92. I worked on the ships for 6 1/2 years (on Princess Cruises) and one of the funniest complaints ts was when we were doing a UK cruise a day an American couple complained because they went on a tour to Loch Ness and didn’t get to see the loch Ness monster!

    And also, the most common question we were ever asked was: “What time is the midnight buffet..?”

    Good times!

  93. after a 3 months cruise around Africa, a couple left this comment: far too many black people in all ports of call.

    • While I laughed out loud at this ridiculous comment, it was a very pitiful thing to say. I have seen quite a lot of racism on cruise ships. Very sad indeed.

    • dont worry, I am south African and the worst i heard was that because i came from “äfrica” no one wanted to shake my hand because everyone in Africa has aids…!!!

    • About racism and absurdity of some anti-racists.
      My friend, a waitress, is from Ukraine. Once an African-American guest asked her if they have any see there in her country. She said, “yes, madam, we have the Black Sea”. The next day the girl got called by a manager for the explanation of the complaint that came from the Reception, saying that the girl is a racist. Almost panicking for the risk to lose her job, she had to find the World Map and point out that yes, indeed, there is the sea called the Black Sea in the world

    • I find this hard to believe… I mean I can understand the stupid guest thinking its racist (even though it’s not cause the guest is stupid) but the manager didn’t know of the “Black Sea”? Maybe the manager should be fired for being stupid as well

  94. I too was working on a cruise ship and this incident happened when i was on the front desk…it was some time during noon whwn the Captain made the announcement that we have crossed the international dateline and hence we would gain 24hrs. Nosooner the Captain was done with his announcement I had a pax call that she was upset as she was not able to spot the intl.dateline after gazing into the sea for a while…….bless…….lmfao!!!

  95. Really do think passengers leave their common sense on land. I was a Purser and we were in the Indian ocean and it was a rough crossing. A guest asked me if a staff member could go out and clean her port hole as she couldn’t see outside the window! I looked at her and said sadly not in the middle if the ocean but would get someone to do it when we docked. She demanded to know why it couldn’t be done there and then!?!?!?

  96. I have had a passenger on the cruise I am currently on, complain that the theatre (at the front of the ship) is too far away from the dinning room (at the back of the ship, which keeping in mind, the guests have a choice of dinning rooms).
    Also, on a recent cruise, a passenger in the atrium (mid ship) complained the theatre was too far away from where she was and how was she supposed to go see the show.
    Then last week, I had a passenger ask me how to get to deck 5 from deck 11, and after having to say “get in and elevator and press 5” the response was “these elevators go down??”

  97. i often said I should write a book:

    What time will we see the Dolphins? ( I will check what time the captain booked them)
    What time is the midnight buffet?
    Do these stairs go down?
    Am I on the ship yet? ( half hour after we set sail)

    But the best story was a rather ‘large’ passenger asking if they were supposed to walk to the back of the ship as it was a long way. I replied sarcastically there was a number 9 bus that came round every 15 minutes to take passengers to the back of the ship. 25 minutes later, he came back to complain the bus was late!

    It was passengers like that who made my job enjoyable and proved to me you cannot buy common sense.

  98. I worked on ships for six years in entertainment and part of the Cruise Director’s ‘farewell’ show monologue was a top ten stupidest questions ever asked…. Do the crew live onboard? Are there power generators on board? How do I know which photo is mine (in the photo gallery)…. etc etc.

  99. Lady called the front desk and asked for night manager to come to the stateroom to open the microwave as she could not open it after puting a sandwich into it to heat it up. Apparently it was not a micro it was a safe with a secu code xD 😛

    • Guys great reading about the morons you put up with. Hope this fat American did not get similar complaints when I cruised last year.

  100. Docked in amsterdam next to us was a pacha festival, really international fest, one of the guest demand to go and talk with the guys that organize that to. Put the volume down cause she couldnt sleep her nap…

  101. I work with excursions. On an Alaskan Cruise I had a guest Screaming at me because we didn’t offer any penguin tours in Alaska . . . . I really didn’t know what to say, thankfully a GOOD guest was behind in line and informed the guest that Penguins only live in the Southern Hemisphere. And of course guest continued screaming about saving their whole life to see Penguins in Alaska, and they want their money back . . . . Wow! To all those GOOD guests who step in when they see someone abusing a crew member, I and all my colleagues thank you!!! Your kindness is sincerely appreciated.

  102. I worked on a cruise ship with Argentines passengers, and one of them phoned reception because his microwave was not working, they sent someone to check and found that the passenger tried to heat the pizza in the safe…
    Can you believe that?

  103. One of the best one I heard was from a gentlemen who was very disappointed that the was no where on boad to by his daily newspaper. When I explain that we were doing a transatlatic cruise and that unfortantley we can supply his daily mail newspaper he then replied that we really should have planned ahead!
    Or at least fly them in daily so he could read his paper !!
    Some people!! And yes I got the do you live on board almost once a cruise..

  104. I was a professionally trained dancer on board Cruise ships for over ten years, but the most appalling customer actions were the close-mindedness and outright racists remarks I received onboard international cruises.
    Being of filipino descent, I normally get the stereo-typical remarks like “You speak english so well” and “When did your parents immigrate” or :
    G: When did you start dancing?
    Me: oh about 12 yrs ago.
    G: No, I mean when did you become a dancer on this ship?
    Me: Well, I joined the ship about 2 months ago
    G: Oh I thought that you were like working on the ship as a steward or cook and when they saw how you danced, they made you a dancer (huh? FYI She had just seen a broadway caliber show with OTT dancing and lights and staging and costumes, and she assumed they just plucked me from the decks and plopped me in a show!!!)
    The BEST: G: Oh I saw your father this morning.
    Me: Huh?!
    G: Yeah! He was the one that served me my eggs in the windjammer.right?!?!
    Me; Um I assure you, my father is not a cook, and if he was, he definitely wouldn’t be here right now.
    G: Oh Im sorry, you guys just looked soooooo alike I assumed he had to be your father!
    (Note: I went in search of this so-called-father and he looked NOTHING like me whatsoever!)

  105. I once received a call from a passenger complaining that the microwave oven in his cabin was not working properly. I told him there were not microwave ovens in the cabins but, as he insisted, I sent the accommodation supervisor to have a look. A couple of minutes later the accommodation supervisor confirmed the glass of milk the passenger had put in the safety box was not hot at all.

  106. A woman once complained that she was swimming at a port of call and looked up and saw her ship in the distance…she didn’t think the passengers should have to swim in the same ocean as the ships!
    Sometimes you just can’t fix stupid!

    • Hahaha… I love this topic 🙂 and i alsi have a nice one for you from RCCL.
      We were having a crew drill on a rainy day,than one guest goes to a headwaiter standing next to me on the open deck and complains that his kid slipped and fall down,abd he blamed us for having a wet open deck. The headwaiter just stared at him and with a stupid face,pointing to the sky and said: hey man…ITS RAINING!!!!! Well this guest made our day, i was smiling for an our about it. 🙂

      Had also once a british lady who ordered an atlantic cod from me,but a minute later she called me ti the table and told me,that it has too much of a fish taste!
      Once in windjammer a guest came to me complaining,that our garpes doesn’ taste good and hard to chew. I took back the plate with the grapes,than i saw that it was the decoration grape, what is made of plastic…im wondering how many of tham did he eat,before he came to me 😀

    • When a fish tastes very strong it means it has gone bad… That’s why she was complaining that the fish was too “fishy”.

    • When i was SPVR in charge of the buffet for Princess,i always had to watch the fruit decoration on the line,because somebody took it all the time.I think most probably they look really good.

  107. Onboard Coral Princess a passenger complained for not being invited to “Assessment Party” (which is basically a group consisting of high rank officers gathered together to assess the seriousness of situation in potentially dangerous events)

  108. On a Caribbean cruise. Guests came back onboard from one of the ports of call very upset blaming the ship because it was raining hard in the Island . Thinking that we control the weather.

  109. rue story on cruise ship: american woman asks
    employee where do they sleep at night; employee answers ironically:
    “well, at night, after all guests go to bed, helicopters come to pick us
    up, taking us ashore to our sleeping place” and giggles about it; next
    day, employee gets call from guest services: “the guest complained
    about not being able to sleep at night`cause of noise made by
    helicopters”

  110. When I worked on the Crown Princess many years ago, a lady complained that she was woken up every morning by the helicopter bringing the staff to work!!

  111. After reading these complaints, I am convinced that there are too many stupid people in this world. I have been on 3 cruises and loved each one. I never had a complaint with any of the staff or the ships. Idiots like these are always going to be in our lives so we just have to ignore them.

    • I worked 10 years on Seabourn and others, same people ( usually New York Pax…)complain about small stuff at the hotel managers office, and get a bottle of free champagne.

  112. We were about to leave Miami to go to The Bahamas. A lady was sitting OUTSIDE at pool deck in thick jeans and a plaid flannel long sleeved shirt. She complained to me that it was MUCH too hot and that there had to be something we could do. I let her know that if she liked we had a great choice of air conditioned lounges to choose from inside the ship. She exclaimed that, “This is absolutely ridiculous; I should NOT have to go inside. I demand that you do something about this!”

    All I could do was stare at her for a moment and then walk away; I literally had NO IDEA what to even say to calm the situation.

  113. Im an NCL Worker at the guest services, and here this out once we were docking at 6:00 am. The ship was vibrating a little bit i recieved a call from a guest saying this : can i speak with the capitan. (Me) i regards? (Guest) my bed is shaking (me) the whole ship is shaking (guest) can you tell the capitan to put it on a parking mode (me) is this some kind of joke (guest) cut the line.
    As a guest services staff i had so many but so many stupid complains and this what u mention are so funny spacially the one from celebrity.

  114. We have cruised a lot, and I am really sickened by the attitude of just a few of my fellow passengers, I have seen staff treated very badly, and passengers complain when members of the crew were going out of their way to help. We have named some of them passengers from Hell, and have intervened defended the crew members actions to their superiors. The crew are doing a job, I urge all passengers to treat them as they would want to be treated. Basically the better you behave as a passenger the more you will enjoy yourself. That does not complain if something is not right.

    • RIGHT i agree with you i have seen a little bit but still think that the crew always do a GREAT job and even if they dont can u imagine having to work their hour and get their pay to deal with ppl like that. SMH i think they all do a GREAT Job.

  115. We once faced this really craziest complaint, the guest a British lady on a standard inside cabin said she was not going to shower all the cruise (11 day Baltic cruise) as she has always bath, said she was very disappointed with the false advertising of all cabins having ‘bathrooms’ when they all only have ‘showers.’ She was given the option to upgrade her inside cabin to the Presidential Suite however she refused to pay a penny as she considered all false advertising; the next couple of days her husband was complaining of more silly stuff and surely about her wife having him miserable due to the ‘bath issue’ In the end, they were upgraded complimentary to the P. Suite.

    • That’s not a big deal, she is from the UK. In the UK and in Canada bathrooms are referred to as “washrooms” because the rooms do not have baths. A bathroom is a room with an actual bath to them. “Bathroom”, meaning a room with at least a toilet and sink is only common in the USA.

    • I’m from the UK and we don’t really use the term washroom, over here a bathroom can be a room with a toilet, sink bath or shower or both, but it can also mean a toilet in restaurants and public places which of course do not have baths or showers in them. The lady was clearly just another typical middle class, upper class wannabe who wanted her own way. Thankfully not all British people are like this, most of us are nice!

    • Actually not true in Canada either. Just because it has a tub does not define washroom, bathroom or even toilet. What word is used by by someone is generally a regional thing.

    • I wouldnt have upgraded them for that reason.. She was just a whinger and should have been told firmly that there was nothing they could do as they didnt build the ship 😛

  116. many of these complaints could be avoided if the client had used a professional travel agent, who addresses many of these issues in advance.

  117. We get so many strange questions and complaints on a ship that there is a saying “Once a guest sets foot onboard a ship, he leaves his brains at the dock”

    Got so many weird questions….such as but definately not limited too:
    – Do the crew sleep on board
    – Do you guys get food on the ship?
    – Do these stairs go up or down?
    – Do these elevators take you to the front of the ship?
    – Is the water in the pool salt water? “Yes” ‘Oh, that explains the waves’
    – Why can’t my kid sing at adult karaoke?
    – Why does your namebadge say the “UK” and your colleague’s says “India”?
    – Could you spend time with my wife in my stateroom since I want to watch the football game and don’t want to make her unhappy…(this actually happens a lot… guests trying us to have sex with their family members, or themselves…)

    And a lot more weird situations…
    “If you don’t give me this point for trivia, I’ll spit on you…I got aids”
    or being bitten by a chinese guy since we didn’t let him go out of the gangway since the ship wasn’t docked yet…

    Or an american women who threatened to blockade the bridge since we couldn’t receive the American football match while being surrounded by mountains (Norwegian fjords)

    Or well..any of the thousands of guests that complain for racism, sexual assault or anything else they can think of just since they don’t get their rediculous way. (Hey, guess what, there are more people than just you on the ship. so no you cannot demand what you want. Follow the rules, like everyone else!)

    • Well you wont get a complain out of me.. Yes there are a few out there who are nuts..but you mostly get good ppl.. Have to admit though. im a brunette but i do become a little blonde on ship.. I have no idea why hahahah.. but i dont complain about things.. I know the ppl who look after me in all areas work really hard.. i think theyre awesome.. 🙂

    • Oh wowwwwwww thats CRAZYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Im soooooooooo sorry that yall have to put up with this bull. I have had nothing be a GREAT time when i cruise SMH these ppl who do these things NEED TO GET A LIFE and really enjoy your cruise vacation SMH

  118. Couple on European cruise going in a tour cannot find a toilet and they go in the bushes. Police sees them and obviously give them a fine. Couple gets back onboard and demand retribution in a value of €125/piece as the cruise liner did not advised the lack of such facilities in a Rome sight seeing tour!
    A lady, first time playing poker she demanded full refun of her money stating that even though she been teached how to play and she playing for the entire night after she still doesn’t fully understand the game.
    I am working in this industry and you might think that after 10 years I’ve heard them all…every assignment I found one complaint that really make me wonder. Is like some people leave their brain home and leave in vacation!

  119. And once I heard a passenger asking if the crew members slept on board. But I would like to thank all crew members for what they do all day long for making people feel at home on board. I don’t know if I could do their job, but they surely do it very well. Especially if you know how much they earn. Thank you!

    • I used to work on a cruise ship and i am amazed how many times i heard this specific question …. People are Amazing indeed and you are right about the salary, its all about the tips.

    • Try being a photographer for £540 a month! (And that’s with holiday/sick pay included, our actual wage was £300 a month!)

  120. I have had tons of stupid complaints in Guest Services onboard Royal. Two that stand out most:

    On departure day as the guests were still boarding a gentleman came to the desk very unhappy. I asked how I could assist him and he angrily explained “I paid a lot of extra money for an Oceanview room (a room with a window) but all I can see is the parking lot!!” I calmly explained to him “Not to worry sir, as soon as we leave port you’ll be able to see the ocean.”

    Another one was a guy doing back to back cruises, he comes on the last day of the first cruise “I really unhappy, I am staying on for next cruise but in this cruise I have not had ANY sun on my balcony! I want the Captain to adjust his route for the next cruise to make sure that I have sunshine on my balcony on port side!”

    Only two of the many stupid complaints we get in a day to day basis!!

  121. This was just too funny … I even had to Google who the heck was Gary Barlow. I think on my next cruise instead of going to the comedy club I’ll just hangout by the customer service desk and take notes … With a ‘Depends’ on of course. Funny article …

  122. Once I had to deal with a guest who got married in Santorini, one of the ports of call of the first week during his two weeks trip.
    Couple of days after the so-dreamed ceremony on the island and back on board on the atrium, he approached the front desk stating that one of the singers had ruined his wedding because of her fatal tunes and voice.
    he even asked for a cabin for himself after the break up (they were still on board) with no extra costs because he believed that it was the cruise liner fault.

  123. I like number 9 – staff are fab and I always give to more people than I expected too. But that’s why I love cruising. I am guilty though in my early days of complaining the air conditioning was leaking, but steward blamed me for have balcony door open all day. I’ve never done it again.:-)

    • I thought you complaint was okay.. after all Phil..you didnt know, but you live and learn eh 🙂

  124. On the final evening of a ten night cruise I complained to the maître d because I went to the gym every single day and still gained five pounds.

  125. One passenger asked the purser whether the water the toilet used was the same as used in the sink and shower. He politely explained that he wasn’t certain, as he had never drank from the toilet.

    • Stop guys … I am rolling on the floor laughing my you know what off. All the lights are on and nobody is home, absolutely nobody’s answering when you come a knocking. LOL … LOL …

    • Well, he could say, he had never drank from the toilet, however, he had to be 100% that the guest will get his humor. He definitely know everything about black-gray-etc water, what we are using on ships, so if the guest was questionable, he probably had some issues after this answer..

    • Sea water only to fill the pool it can be sea to sea mode if the ship more than 12 nautica miles by the nearest island. And it can be set to circulating mode when on port or less than 12 miles to the nearest island. And the water that we’re using for the shower, toilet and etc is a potable water.

  126. This is nothing ladies and gents, NOTHING…!!! the most stupid complaints happen on board, not everybody takes them to land for further claim but is so true, crew needs to deal with every type of crazy people from all over the world… Blessings for all who works for a cruise line and more for the ones who work in the front desk…

    • Thank YOU !!! These are nothing compared to the ones that i used to hear working as a casino dealer… I remember this lady wanted to get me fired cause in the 3 hours she played roulette her number didnt come up ….

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